But if you left it up to me...

bexmyxstar @ 2005-09-12T21:44:00

2005-09-13T01:45:27Z

made a new journal. goodbye to this one after using it for like 3897289570234957820387 years.

NEW JOURNAL: www.livejournal.com/users/__burnlikeastar

bexmyxstar @ 2005-09-12T21:23:00

2005-09-13T01:26:19Z

I miss someone alot right now.
I want to cry.

Shut the fuck up and don't tell me to stop thinking about it because I fucking can't.
At least right now I can't.

P.S.
.I'm in love with a girl and her name is Kerynn Morss.

so.

2005-09-12T22:49:22Z

My brother has been uploading files for his iPod all day. It's taking up AIM so I can't use that right now.
And myspace isn't working. Yes, I am a myspace whore and fuck people that make fun of it that use it constantly.
So basically LJ is all I have right now.

Today, as said in the previous entry, is my birthday. It really doesn't feel like I'm 16 at all. I got $45 for birthday money. $30 will be put into me getting my permit. The rest I'll probably spend on stupid shit because when I have money I fucking spend it quickly.

I'm pretty bored. And I've been thinking all day. Thinking sucks for me lately. I can't get my mind to focus on good things. Especially when there's so much good for me right now. bitchbitchbitch.

I've been doing pretty good in school lately. Maybe this year I wont blow everything again and actually get descent grades.

I miss my brother.

I miss a lot of things.

Counting stars wishing I was okay
Crashing down was my biggest mistake
I never ever ever meant to hurt you
I only did what I had to
Counting stars again

HEY THERE!

2005-09-12T21:49:06Z

HAPPY BIRFDAY TO ME!!!!!
Today I am officially 16.

bexmyxstar @ 2005-09-08T05:27:00

2005-09-08T21:30:40Z

Today was the first day in the 16 years that I've known my mother that I've ever heard her say fuck.

Matt got kicked out.
I am terrified everytime my family fights like that.

my day went from okay to fucking shit in a matter of five minutes.

5 more days

2005-09-07T22:20:03Z

My last two days of summer were awesome.

Starting off with going to taco bell with my brother, coming home to a house full of awesome drunk people.
And while Greg was showing me Doc's car, Eddie's car pulls into my driveway and none-other than JENNY FUCKING NGUYEN tackles me to the ground with love. I missed her so sosososoososo much!

We chilled at my house for a while then went to say hi to Fred. When we came back Eddie had to go home so Jenny and I chilled with Greg and he was so drunk that he let us put makeup on him.

Jenny and Greg ended up sleeping over. The next morning we all went to Island Grove Park in Abington and I took pictures and chilled with some sweet ass people. It was a great way to end the summer.

My first two days of school have been good. I love my photography class, I can't wait to get started working in it.
I dropped my cell phone in soup the other day. It sucks super bad not having a cell phone and I lost everyone's number so I need to get them all back.

COOL KIDS!!!

Greg is BUFF

I swear to God he is a leprechaun.

adorable.

gotta love her.

there was a bee's nest in one of the tree's in the woods and greg decided to be wicked smart and throw a rock at it. I FUCKING HATE BEES! it's my worst phobia.

Jenny's a model

My Cousin Danny being a faggot. =)

Greg trying to stop me from taking a picture.

I'm obviously better.

Tuff kids from the army can do pull ups.

..I am missing someone terribly right now..

mhm.

2005-09-04T21:59:30Z

Tonight will be the last night of summer that I can stay out late.
Too bad none of my friends are around to hang out with.

To tell you the truth I'm kinda glad summer is ending.
It was great to begin with but now it's just dragging on and boring and I've spent most of my time sitting on my couch being bored and sad.

Last night I went to a bar with my brother.
Never Again.
It was so fucking boring. I sat there and watched my brother play pool and watched fat middle-aged men and women sing and dance.
Though I did see a drunk break dancing asian man.
When my cousin, his girlfriend Erika and her friend Andy got there it wasn't as bad.

When we all got home we went in the hot tub for a while. It was fun.

OH YEAH... we didn't go to the fair today due to my brother being asleep this morning. grrrrr.

AND.. I miss Jenny.

bexmyxstar @ 2005-09-03T01:13:00

2005-09-03T17:16:08Z

My parents are gone till Monday.
I'm not going to King Richards Fair today. Instead I'm going tomorrow.
All my friends are gone. I have no one to hang out with.
This makes a girl sad.

P.S. Today is Andrew McMahon's 23rd or maybe 24th birthday.

hi

2005-09-02T18:57:49Z

Haven't really updated in a few days.

Today is my brother's birthday. He's turning 22. The familys all going out to eat tonight then tomorrow my parents are going to Pennsylania for the weekend.

I'm going to King Richard's Fair tomorrow. wicked excited!

School starts Tuesday. I'm really excited that I got into photography. I hope it's fun.

Not much else excited is really going on in my life at this point in time.

hi

2005-08-30T22:10:57Z

Last night I fell asleep to the sound of rain. It was very peaceful.

I was supposed to hang out with Kerynn yesterday but she was out with her parents all day.

I went school shopping today. Got 3 shirts, 2 pairs of pants, 2 bras and one hoodie. I saw Sammy and Alex at the mall. It was good to see them again.

ATTN: My sixteenth birthday party will be held September 10 somewhere around 2 o'clock at my hizzy. Anyone that wants to go let me know. I already made a list of who I'm inviting but if for some reason I forgot you then tell me and you can commme!!

Anywho.. I cleaned my disgusting room today. Thank god. I couldn't see the floor anymore and I always tripped over shit when I walked in. I did not make my bed but oh fucking well.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand, I'm out.

bexmyxstar @ 2005-08-28T10:34:00

2005-08-29T02:37:58Z

i suck tonight.

and I still find him irresistable...

2005-08-28T18:08:41Z

Last night was a good night.
I chilled with the Exen Films Crew and we visited Christine at work.

Then we went to Hanson to see the TB hospital because I've never seen it before.
Let me tell ya, anyone who hasn't seen it, it's fucking incredible.
It's like something out of a horror movie.

We didn't go in it. I will never enter that fucking place.

After leaving that nightmare, we went to blockbuster/picked up Christine and Colleen and then went back to my hizzy.

Christine slept over and we stayed up till the sun rose. Or at least I did hah.
We watched the Blair Witch Project and I don't care what anyone says, that movie IS scary.

Today Kerynn is hopefully coming over. I miss herrrrrr

yup

2005-08-27T04:54:34Z

Sometimes I like to think I'm Tupac Shakur.

Dave is one creepy motherfather.

Anthony Fucking Brandolini.

bitches n' hoes

I have better friends than you.

Anthony hurt me wicked bad by grabbing my throat right there...

Sometimes I wonder why Eddie does the things he does...

So fucking smooth...

Anthony's a hottie.

Matching faggots.

ldkfasdkl;

2005-08-27T02:14:21Z

I don't really know why I'm updating.

The past few nights have been beautiful. I stared at the stars for a while tonight. It was beautiful.

I finally hung out with Anthony last night. He lost a shit load of weight.
We took a shit load of pictures. I'll post em' later.

Kerynn Morss=love.

I need a fucking life.

2005-08-25T05:10:22Z

Christine comes home tomorrow.
I am hanging out with her finally.

Eddie totalled his car.
R.I.P. Eddie's car.
Luckily, Eddie is okay.

WHY IS THE FUCKING AC ALWAYS ON IN THIS ROOM!?

I'll be 16 soon so I can finally get a job.
I'm probably going to apply to TCBY so I can work with Christine.
I'm scared to get a job though, because I'm afraid I will fuck up somehow.

I think my brother is coming up here to go to sleep so I'm gunna go downstairs.
Maybe sit outside and watch the stars. I haven't done that in a long time.

bexmyxstar @ 2005-08-24T16:07:00

2005-08-24T20:10:54Z

Went to the mall with Allison, Stephanie, and Nick today.

Got new shoes and a new back pack.
Bumped into Brittany and Josh Smith.
Josh bought me the Jack's Mannequin CD <333333333333333333333
Then we went to BK and chicken fries are fucking delicious.

I need a shower. kbye.

...

2005-08-24T16:27:10Z

Last night I lost someone who used to be very special to me...

Maybe I shouldn't have been such a bitch? Maybe it's better this way? I don't know.
I feel like I did the right thing.. but I'm still incredibly upset over it.
I'm never going to forget him. Never in my wildest dreams could I do that.
For now I'm just going to suck it up. I don't even know what I'm feeling right now.

so i pretty much hate everything tonight

2005-08-23T04:13:05Z

I had a good day today. Up until I got home.

When I got home from the mall with Kerynn, my mom yelled at me and pretty much grounded me for the day because I called my cousin and asked him to drive us to the Kingston mall. (since he lives in Kingston anyway.)

and he did not mind what-so-ever driving me but for some reason my mom still felt it neccessary to ground me tomorrow.

Then just shit has been running through my mind alot lately. I don't really know what's going on anymore. I'm kind of confused.
And the only person I need to tell this all to doesn't seem to care..

So.. I basically hate everything.. and maybe tomorrow I will feel better. but I doubt it.

My livejournal has been full of bitching lately. so you should just stop reading it. kbye

SO HEY MY NAME IS SLIM AND I UPDATE WAY TO OFTEN!

2005-08-21T17:51:59Z

Last night Anthony came over at 12:45 AM. He lost a shit load of weight.
It was nice to see him again.

My brother told me that when I turn 16 he'll let me drink/buy for me/my friends.. Not that that really matters because I don't really drink and neither do my friends. But oh well. I guess it's nice to know.

Christine should be calling soon.
WE GONNA PAHTY @ ROBB TAYLAH'S HOUSE!!

I need more to do.. This livejournal is all I do with my life.
NOBODY CARES!

lalala.

I've started writing in my real journal more and more. but I usually only write in that when something's bothering me.. or i'm bored.

ANYWAY I'M GUNNA GO WAIT FOR CHRISTINE TO CALL KTHNXBYE!

alright...

2005-08-21T03:05:35Z

ALRIGHT NOW!

As of RIGHT NOW I don't make sense anymore.

I'm insane. you love it. don't lie.

tomorrow i better do something worth my time.
like going to robb's grad. party with christine.

i FUCKING LOVE WITH ALL MY HEART the new coheed song.

jkasdf;lakdjf;klajsdf;kljasd; fkldj;f klas
NO FUCKING SENSE BIATCH!!!@#!@$@

okay bye.

bexmyxstar @ 2005-08-20T08:57:00

2005-08-21T00:59:47Z

this song makes me want to kill myself 20 times.

my whole house has been full of negative energy tonight.

baaaaaaaah.

*sadsadsad*

bexmyxstar @ 2005-08-19T22:54:00

2005-08-20T02:55:00Z

blahblahyaddayaddaimisshimyaddayaddablahblah

stole this from allison

2005-08-19T18:23:29Z

1. Go here.
2. Pass it on.

1.~How did you meet russie624? I started talking to him online then we met at dunkies one morning.
2.~What would you do if you had never met 13coils? hm.. that would be weird because he's my brother.
3.~What do you honestly think of xputsxinxnamex? He's super funny and super nice and super awesome
4.~Would or did _thatssohott and thankumisslippy go out? they should. mwahahaha
5.~Have you ever liked jigsaw___babies? yes
6.~If tinfoil_opeters died tomorrow, what is one thing that you would need him/her to know? that i think she rocks it super hard!
7.~Would xlesslikeyou and victorydisease make a good couple? NO NO NO
8.~Describe kait0605 in 3 words: sweet, kind, funny
9.~Do you think stupidpinkgirl is hot? oh yes!
10.~Would tinfoil_opeters and atelltaleheartx make a lovely couple? no..
11.~What do you think of when you see thankumisslippy? I think of how crazy and spontaneous she is.
12.~Tell me something humiliating about victorydisease: no. thats not nice
13.~Do you know any of 13coils's family members? nope.... i'm just related to him.
14.~What's 13coils's favorite color? i dunno
15.~On a scale of 1-10 how cute is nofutureforyou? 38472038947203891!!!
16.~What would you do if flyinakite just professed their undying love for you? that would be a little odd.
17.~What language does _thatssohott speak? english
18.~Who is cynda_block going out with? i dont think she is going out with anyone..
19.~Is xdeagle a boy or a girl? boy
20.~Would exiled1 and flyinakite make a good couple? BUAHAHAHAHAHHAHA
21.~Who do you think damnutommy2tone would be great with from this list? ME
22.~When was the last time you talked to stupidpinkgirl? uhhhmm... when she left me lj comments.
23.~What is jigsaw___babies's favorite band? uhm.. i think he told me a long time ago but i forget now
24.~Does xlesslikeyou have any siblings? yes
25.~Would you ever date 13coils? ew
26.~Would you ever date kait0605? oh yes! *wink*
27.~Is damnutommy2tone single? mhm
28.~What is 13coils's last name? Richards...why are there so many questions about him?
29.~What is exiled1's middle name? i dunno
30~What is xputsxinxnamex's fantasy? ...no clue
31.~Where does xdeagle live? hanson i thinks?
32.~Would you make out with russie624? nah..
33.~Are 13coils and 13coils best friends? what the fuck?
34.~Does kait0605 like 13coils? no haha
35.~How did you meet exiled1? through christine
36.~Is stupidpinkgirl older than you? yep
37.~Is atelltaleheartx the sexiest person alive? oh yes!!!

hi

2005-08-19T01:39:51Z

The past two nights were spent over Christine's house.
They were good days. I forget what happened yesterday though...

Today was super dooper fun.
I got to see RICHARD WELLS today!!! I haven't seen that fucker since the time he spit all over Molly's windshield, haha. I only got to see him for like 10 minutes though.

Christine and I picked up Josh and went to Andrews where we chilled with him, molly, eddie, josh and Christine. We went swimming and then chilled for a while. Then we all went mini golfing at starland. It was fucking rediculous but so fun. After mini golfing Josh, Christine and I went to Friendly's. I saw Sam's parents and said hi to them. I miss Sammy! I found out he works at Hot Topic now so I have to go visit him whenever I can. Anyway, we ate food and then I had to go home.

Now I'm here...

It's so fucked up that after a super fun day with the people that I love with all my heart, I come home only to have that one bad thing in my life be the only thing on my mind. It breaks my heart that I can't stop thinking about it. I need to stop. It's pretty much out of my life now so I should stop caring right? But I can't..... I don't know. I'm gunna stop now. I probably shouldn't have written this anyway...

...

2005-08-16T16:13:01Z

What happened?